‘Golden Bachelorette’ fan favorite Charles Ling had no idea he’s the internet’s current boyfriend

But fans are most compelled by Ling’s journey with grief, prompted six years ago by the sudden loss of his wife. On one group date to a mock prom, many of his fellow contestants are seen reliving their adolescence on the dance floor. Ling, meanwhile, is filmed sitting alone in the bleachers, reflecting on his wife and his loneliness. He eventually opens up to Vassos, embraces the experience and celebrates his own ability to enjoy the moment. 

In the latest episode, Ling seeks out ER doctor Guy Gansert to answer one remaining medical question about the manner in which his wife died from a brain aneurysm. Gansert’s response offers Ling closure but also launches a discussion about moving on.

“It’s necessary to share our suffering, our sadness,” Ling says in the episode. 

It hasn’t been easy, being so upfront about his struggles, Ling explained. Coming from Chinese culture, the concept of shame is often the center of many social interactions, he said. And regardless of “happy or sad things, we don’t express ourselves like my ‘American’ friends.” 

“Culturally, we sometimes doubt. ‘If I do this, what will other people think about it? If I want to step out of this sad circle or boundary and seek another chance of love … What will my friends think about it?’” Ling said.  “It seems we care more about others’ feelings than my own to begin with.”

But the kindness of fellow cast members in part helped him get over the hurdle, Ling said. And throughout the season, the men in the mansion, many of whom have similarly gone through loss and other major life events, began taking care of one another. Ling said they cooked together, helped each other with clothes, took morning walks and, most importantly, consoled one another. 

“During the first or second day, I think that quite a few of us hesitated. We asked ourselves, ‘Should I really go out and tell my whole story?” Ling said. “But as we started, and as we continued, we felt like it’s OK to say it aloud … It’s OK to cry sometimes. People will pat your shoulder and say, ‘Charles, it’s OK. We are so sorry,’” 

He added that because of the care within the cast, the men didn’t “feel like we are competing with each other.” 

“We are really supporting each other,” he said.

Another aspect of Ling’s story that has drawn conversation is his relationship with his daughters, who recommended he try out for the show. Though Asian fathers are often stereotyped as cold, stoic and unmoving, Ling is seen leaning on his children, even calling his daughter Sophia to express his excitement over having attended his first prom. He credits them for helping him break out of his shell and take on this unique reality show experience, while pushing him to be authentically himself through it all.

“We are so close. Like other families, we do trips together, we read together, we share our concerns, and questions and answers, we are a very, very open-oriented family,” Ling said. “I really don’t have to worry at all. We are lucky to have those darling daughters.” 

With so many eyes on him now, Ling said he’s hoping that viewers, particularly other seniors dealing with grief, can see his story as one of inspiration to get out there again. 

“You can say, ‘If Charles can do it, so can me,’” he said. “Don’t suffer by yourself …  Express yourself, be enthusiastic all over again. Life is short.”