Parenting Flaws: Parenting flaws nobody dares to talk about | – Times of India

Parenting Flaws: Parenting flaws nobody dares to talk about | – Times of India


Parenting is often referred to as this great journey that is filled with joy and fulfillment. However, in this unique journey are huge issues and flaws that nobody ever talks about. The problems will greatly impact parents and children alike, but in respect to societal pressures and stigmas, they remain in the dark.

Unrealistic expectations

Many parents set impossibly high standards for themselves and their children.This may manifest itself in one or all of the following: demands for perfect conduct, and demands for brilliant scholastic performance. Unrealistic expectations place unhealthy pressure on children and carry a psychological view of anxiety, low self-esteem, and fear of failure. Parents may feel continually stressed by these pressures and inadequate when they fail to live up to them, as they most certainly will.

Overprotective

Some parents go to the extent of trying to shield their children from hurt or failure. This can often kill the resilience and problem-solving capabilities in a child in the long run. Such an overprotective behavior results in strained relationships and further conflict between the child and parent due to misunderstandings that set in over time.

Keeping the emotional side under wraps

Some parents become too engrossed in the activity of working, household chores and other activities to the extent that they become emotionally absent for their children. Emotional absence tends to have a negative impact on emotional development in the child as well as his or her ability later in life to create healthy relationships. Children need the sense of constant emotional security in their lives; this enables them to feel seen and valued; an absence of emotional security will evoke feelings of neglect and emotional instability.

Projecting unresolved issues on kids

Parents project their most unresolved problems onto their children through unrealistic expectations, either because of unfulfilled dreams or due to personal complexes. A good example is that the parent who struggled with academics may be over-demanding regarding the child’s school performance, while the one who suffered from social rejection may be overly concerned with one’s child’s social life. This projection leads to so much unnecessary pressure and conflict that it affects a child’s identity and personal development.

Favoritism exists in families

Favoritism, whether actual or perceived, can cause deep divisions among siblings. This may trigger jealousy, resentment, and thus a strained sibling relationship. It may even affect a child’s self-esteem if he or she perceives themselves to be loved less, while parents show greater favor to another sibling. Often, such partialities are not this obvious and may even go unnoticed by the parents themselves, but sometimes even small differences in attention or praise may carry profound effects.

Excessive emphasis on academic achievement

In today’s competitive world, a lot of emphasis is being put on academic and extracurricular successes. This makes parents to go all out in making their children excel more in performance rather than in their well-being as a whole. This could instill the feeling of self-worth associated only with achievements that may bring stress and make the child less intrinsically motivated. All this could be better replaced by encouraging a balanced outlook where effort and personal growth are valued more than mere accomplishments.

Avoiding difficult conversations

Parents often avoid discussing tough topics with them, such as those to do with mental health, relationships, and society. And by doing so, the children may be thrown into the deep end of life in areas for which they are not prepared. Such topics, if handled openly at an appropriate age, help kids develop critical thinking skills and an understanding of the world. Parents should create a safe environment for such discussions rather than shying away from them.

Hidden prejudices and biases

Parents may inadvertently pass on their own biases and prejudices to their children. It has an impact on the child’s view of life and how he or she relates to other people. It is important to recognize such biases and work to overcome them to instill acceptance and respect in children.

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